Focus on Family & Culture
Aug 20 2008
Written by Kelly Jackson
In Her Footsteps
My Hopes and Dreams for Kaylie Jo
The birth of my beautiful niece Kaylie Jo has sparked an internal dialogue about my hopes and dreams for her future growing up as a multiracial American.
As I review the findings of my own research, and reflect on my own experiences growing up as a biracial American, I come face to face with the reality that Kaylie will undoubtedly encounter discrimination related to her mixed heritage and ethnically ambiguous appearance.
My little niece is walking three feet in front of me – I notice she stumbles, her little feet trip on the rough surface of the concrete – she begins to topple over – I reach out to catch her, but I am not quick enough - she falls…
Unfortunately it has already started and can be heard, though ever so subtly, in conversation with persons outside our family. Phrases like “She is sooo tan!” or “Wow that hair of hers is out of control!” cause me to cringe. It’s knowing that what appear as innocent observations can eventually transform to blatant racism targeting her mixed-African heritage. Something I know all to well.
I am so conscious of this fact that I inundate my godchild and her parents with culturally sensitive books and dolls. My hope is that visions of other diverse multiracial children will help prevent Kaylie from internalizing some of the hatred and ignorance that often envelopes interracial families and their children.
Fortunately my concerns are tempered by the growing acknowledgment and acceptance of mixed-race persons in society. Nothing makes me happier than knowing Kaylie can turn on a TV and see a multiracial person looking back at her, or fill out a form and not be forced to choose one race. Even more heartening is the fact that Kaylie may grow up with a President who shares her mixed Black/White background (a hardly-plausible accomplishment even just a few years ago).
I realize my hopes and dreams for Kaylie - to have a multiracial reference group growing up - is a projected need of my own (a need that has serendipitously lead me to a research career investigating multiracial identity). It never occurred to me until recently that she may not need such a group nor my guidance to help her develop a strong sense of pride in her identity (however she chooses to define it!).
In a country where, according to Census projections, 27% of those identified as “two or more races” are below the age of five years old, and 49% are under 20, there is bound to be a higher level of identification and connection in the future.
So, perhaps ironically it is the other way around. Instead I am the one following in Kaylie’s little footsteps learning the new ways the next generation of multiracial youth will navigate the challenges of identity. Maybe my godchild will guide me to my own internal sense of pride as I watch her successfully avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered in my own development as a multiracial person.
After a brief cry my niece is back to her playful self – she is swinging joyfully with her grandma on a nearby play-set – I notice a purple welt on her forehead, interrupting the beautiful smooth brown complexion of her skin – it is the only visible sign of the fall that had just occurred – I wince knowing if I was only quick enough I could have prevented this – Kaylie does not seem to notice and instead runs past me smiling – I follow.
Relevant Resources:
My obsession to pass on multicultural resources to my niece has lead me to discover a plethora of websites offering resources that enhance the well-being of multiracial children. For instance, a recent quest to find a multiracial doll for Kaylie led me to Karen’s Kottage. I was able to order my niece a personalized doll that reflects her tan skin, light eyes, and curly brown hair.
I also discovered ComeUnity Parenting Support, a website offering parenting, adoption and special needs resources. Of particular interest to me was the listing of numerous multiracial diversity books for children, but the website also has numerous other resources regarding transracial adoption and special needs children.
The birth of my beautiful niece Kaylie Jo has sparked an internal dialogue about my hopes and dreams for her future growing up as a multiracial American.
As I review the findings of my own research, and reflect on my own experiences growing up as a biracial American, I come face to face with the reality that Kaylie will undoubtedly encounter discrimination related to her mixed heritage and ethnically ambiguous appearance.
My little niece is walking three feet in front of me – I notice she stumbles, her little feet trip on the rough surface of the concrete – she begins to topple over – I reach out to catch her, but I am not quick enough - she falls…
Unfortunately it has already started and can be heard, though ever so subtly, in conversation with persons outside our family. Phrases like “She is sooo tan!” or “Wow that hair of hers is out of control!” cause me to cringe. It’s knowing that what appear as innocent observations can eventually transform to blatant racism targeting her mixed-African heritage. Something I know all to well.
I am so conscious of this fact that I inundate my godchild and her parents with culturally sensitive books and dolls. My hope is that visions of other diverse multiracial children will help prevent Kaylie from internalizing some of the hatred and ignorance that often envelopes interracial families and their children.
Fortunately my concerns are tempered by the growing acknowledgment and acceptance of mixed-race persons in society. Nothing makes me happier than knowing Kaylie can turn on a TV and see a multiracial person looking back at her, or fill out a form and not be forced to choose one race. Even more heartening is the fact that Kaylie may grow up with a President who shares her mixed Black/White background (a hardly-plausible accomplishment even just a few years ago).
I realize my hopes and dreams for Kaylie - to have a multiracial reference group growing up - is a projected need of my own (a need that has serendipitously lead me to a research career investigating multiracial identity). It never occurred to me until recently that she may not need such a group nor my guidance to help her develop a strong sense of pride in her identity (however she chooses to define it!).
In a country where, according to Census projections, 27% of those identified as “two or more races” are below the age of five years old, and 49% are under 20, there is bound to be a higher level of identification and connection in the future.
So, perhaps ironically it is the other way around. Instead I am the one following in Kaylie’s little footsteps learning the new ways the next generation of multiracial youth will navigate the challenges of identity. Maybe my godchild will guide me to my own internal sense of pride as I watch her successfully avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered in my own development as a multiracial person.
After a brief cry my niece is back to her playful self – she is swinging joyfully with her grandma on a nearby play-set – I notice a purple welt on her forehead, interrupting the beautiful smooth brown complexion of her skin – it is the only visible sign of the fall that had just occurred – I wince knowing if I was only quick enough I could have prevented this – Kaylie does not seem to notice and instead runs past me smiling – I follow.
Relevant Resources:
My obsession to pass on multicultural resources to my niece has lead me to discover a plethora of websites offering resources that enhance the well-being of multiracial children. For instance, a recent quest to find a multiracial doll for Kaylie led me to Karen’s Kottage. I was able to order my niece a personalized doll that reflects her tan skin, light eyes, and curly brown hair.
I also discovered ComeUnity Parenting Support, a website offering parenting, adoption and special needs resources. Of particular interest to me was the listing of numerous multiracial diversity books for children, but the website also has numerous other resources regarding transracial adoption and special needs children.
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11 Comments
Aug 20 2008
Written by louiegong
Nice article Kelley! btw- Kelley is a member of the MAVIN Foundation’s Board of Directors!
Aug 22 2008
Written by MexItalian
Great examples! Keep possing questions for people to internalize Kelly!
Aug 26 2008
Written by Bella, Providence, RI
I can tell from your niece’s eyes that she is going to grow up curious and happy to talk about what makes her special......and hopefully that will be in a world that is way more tolerant!
Oct 7 2008
Written by Rudy Guevarra
Kelly, this is dope! You certainly convey what we all feel as multiracial/multiethnic individuals in the U.S. What is comforting is that your beautiful niece/goddaughter will grow up in an increasingly multicultural world that reflects our own experiences.
Oct 17 2008
Written by MeltingPotMoms, Orange County, CA
Beautifully written, Kelly - thank you for such a moving and poignant piece.
I love where you said “Instead I am the one following in Kaylie’s little footsteps learning the new ways the next generation of multiracial youth will navigate the challenges of identity.” As a parent of mixed children, this is truly how I feel....that although I am here to provide guidance, I never want to impose pre-conceived notions on my children. They are unique individuals of a unique generation, growing up in a unique time. I am honored to be a part of the journey that will be uniquely theirs.
Feb 5 2009
Written by Melanie, Stamford, CT
As a mixed child myself, I think this is a great way to view it too. Every generation’s views on the subject change, and it’s important to let them find their way. I think that parents can also play an important role, as mine did, in reminding kidsof their roots and encouraging exploration of those roots.....
Feb 14 2009
Written by Jean
Apparently Mother Nature knows what she is doing and moving around the genes is part of the plan. This has been going on for centuries in order to keep the human race from dying out.
May 5 2009
Written by Andrea
Thank you so much for this uplifting article. I’m an African American mom who just gave birth April 25th to a very pale, hazel eyed, curly red head, with freckles. She is the cutest thing, but people keep telling me and my hubby that she is going to have major problems growing up. My mom knows all to well, because she is multiracial and suffered during her childhood in the 50’s and 60’s. My hubby and I will just be there for her always and raise her knowing both sides (many sides, LOL) of her cultures.
Aug 12 2009
Written by jannet
It is so nice to be different from others, only if you know how to live with this. It is an easy task to learn living knowing that you are dirrefent from all the rest. There’s a very good article at http://www.picktorrent.com search engine about this very problem - “How to be different”
Dec 12 2009
Written by sima
Thank you very much arcticle veru useful for me
http://www.globalcanadameds.com/