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Retha Hill

Apr 26 2008

Written by Retha Hill, Phoenix, AZ

Ask an Expert: Black Hair Help

Special Care for Black Hair

This white stepmom to a three-year-old African American girl needs help in doing her hair. Click here for answers.

I am white and my husband of two years has a daughter from a previous relationship who is now three. Now that she spends nearly all of her time with us, I’m having a hard time trying to do her hair. Whenever I comb or brush it, Leyla cries so much that I just sort of leave it alone. A friend at work, who also is black, recommended that I put a permanent in her hair to make it easier to comb. What type should I try? Sarah, Denver, Co.

Answer:

imageSarah, first do not put harsh chemicals in a young child’s hair. She is only three and even though there are kiddie perms out there, they are still very harsh and could cause her hair to fall out or thin over the years. And the use of a perm early on will send the message that her own hair is bad or difficult.

The best thing is to learn how to do her natural hair without causing her great pain.  One of the best tutorials out is a video called, “Thunderhead: A Children’s Hair Care Guide for Parents,” produced by Pamela Farrell the owner of the Washington, D.C., based salon Cornrows and Company. Trust me, you are not alone. Most black parents go through the same battles and often resort to putting chemical relaxers in their children’s hair, even though their own experiences may not have been good ones around “perming” hair. A lot of black women are walking around with thin or damaged hair because of “over processing” through the use of lye-based relaxers.

In the video, Farrell shows the best way to take care of a little black girl’s thick hair, including how to comb it. In a nutshell you should wash her hair with a gentle, moisturizing shampoo, using your fingers to gently massage the scalp. Never use circular motions as you might do with your own hair because you will just tangle it and have hell to pay when you try to comb it out. Use a conditioner and use a wide tooth comb to pull the conditioner through to the ends. Rinse, again without using circular motions. Then using your comb, section the hair off into small partings, and comb the ends of the hair first, while grasping the hair at the base so the comb won’t yank the hair.  As you comb out each section, twist two strands of hair together so it will dry.image

Next blow dry her hair on low heat, using a comb attachment. The heat from the blow dryer will straighten the hair a bit. Section the hair into the desired hairstyle such as one or two or three ponytails. For little girls who might be running and playing, braid each ponytail and secure the ends with a barrette or another colorful rubber band to keep it in place. Above all, help your little girl to feel good about her natural hair and don’t rush to straighten. At some point, she might want to relax it, but it is always best to wait until she’s much older and able to make the decision herself. There are tons of natural styles for children and the video shows you quite a few.

I am white and my husband of two years has a daughter from a previous relationship who is now three. Now that she spends nearly all of her time with us, I’m having a hard time trying to do her hair. Whenever I comb or brush it, Leyla cries so much that I just sort of leave it alone. A friend at work, who also is black, recommended that I put a permanent in her hair to make it easier to comb. What type should I try? Sarah, Denver, Co.

Answer:

imageSarah, first do not put harsh chemicals in a young child’s hair. She is only three and even though there are kiddie perms out there, they are still very harsh and could cause her hair to fall out or thin over the years. And the use of a perm early on will send the message that her own hair is bad or difficult.

The best thing is to learn how to do her natural hair without causing her great pain.  One of the best tutorials out is a video called, “Thunderhead: A Children’s Hair Care Guide for Parents,” produced by Pamela Farrell the owner of the Washington, D.C., based salon Cornrows and Company. Trust me, you are not alone. Most black parents go through the same battles and often resort to putting chemical relaxers in their children’s hair, even though their own experiences may not have been good ones around “perming” hair. A lot of black women are walking around with thin or damaged hair because of “over processing” through the use of lye-based relaxers.

In the video, Farrell shows the best way to take care of a little black girl’s thick hair, including how to comb it. In a nutshell you should wash her hair with a gentle, moisturizing shampoo, using your fingers to gently massage the scalp. Never use circular motions as you might do with your own hair because you will just tangle it and have hell to pay when you try to comb it out. Use a conditioner and use a wide tooth comb to pull the conditioner through to the ends. Rinse, again without using circular motions. Then using your comb, section the hair off into small partings, and comb the ends of the hair first, while grasping the hair at the base so the comb won’t yank the hair.  As you comb out each section, twist two strands of hair together so it will dry.image

Next blow dry her hair on low heat, using a comb attachment. The heat from the blow dryer will straighten the hair a bit. Section the hair into the desired hairstyle such as one or two or three ponytails. For little girls who might be running and playing, braid each ponytail and secure the ends with a barrette or another colorful rubber band to keep it in place. Above all, help your little girl to feel good about her natural hair and don’t rush to straighten. At some point, she might want to relax it, but it is always best to wait until she’s much older and able to make the decision herself. There are tons of natural styles for children and the video shows you quite a few.

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2 Comments

Andrew Henderson

May 14 2008

Written by Andrew Henderson

Hats off to this step-mom for being honest and asking for help. Also, much love to Retha for the good advice.

Elizabeth

Jun 16 2008

Written by Elizabeth

Hair is a tough one.  I have two interracial girls.  Stick with it, it’s a great bonding time to do your girls hair.  You can see my girls hairstyles and woes on my blog, cuz I too wrestle with it.  http://www.myonelovelife.com
I’d also recommend reading books about black hair.  My girl’s favorite is called: “I Love My Hair” by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley.
Good luck and BLUR, keep writing on this topic!!!

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